Ho Ho Ho

The place is a ridiculous sight. You would think we lived at the North Pole and I was a reindeer. Try as she might, Mommy cannot help herself. Two Christmas trees, Carolers on the mantle, baking baking baking. Who does she think is going to eat all these cakes and cookies? She won't eat it because it might have a calorie and aside from a morsel on the floor, I get nothing. I tell you what I can't stand-she has a stuffed Grinch doll and Max the dog. They sit on the bed. They are just asking to be torn up and taken out the dog door. Those beady eyes, those furry feet, it's just more than I can handle and share my bed with-Mommy's bed, that is. It's enough to make me think twice before eating a beggin strip. I just watch Mommy run around like an elf and laugh to myself at her.
Ho Ho Ho yourself Mommy. Take a chill pill.

Prison Break

Not sure if I mentioned this before but Bob bought new gates to keep Bella and I corralled. I saw him walk in with them and I stared at him with disgust. Apparently he and Mommy felt Bella and I were out of control when she came to visit and Mommy and Bob left the house. Not going to lie, we were having fun getting into the laundry, trash, and Bella has a strange affinity for paper-all kinds-books, magazines (don't mess with People-Mommy loses her mind!) and even toilet paper. I told her and told her how stupid that was and that it would make Mommy sad. And no Mommy-we don't know how to run the vacuum so you can stop asking us-even if we knew how, we would not do that-don't be ridiculous.
The result is that when we are home alone, Bella and I are stuck in the kitchen and the great room. We can go outside but I can't go lay in Mommy's bed anymore and I can't look out the front door to bark at all the potential intruders. I am surprised Mommy did not get me a jumpsuit and some Keds-I am truly in prison. Apparently Mommy and Bob thought we were becoming our own pack but the truth is I can barely waken Bella if the house were on fire much less to play. She is the laziest dog and takes 20 minutes to move-not the most agile lady.
The only reprieve is when Mommy puts the gate up fast and does not put it tight enough, like yesterday. Then the toilet paper belongs to Bella and I head to Mommy's bed-and all is right in the world.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa
You may be hearing some mixed reviews about my behavior this year. I just wanted to drop you a line and set the record straight.
It's been quite a year and I am not going to pretend I am a model dog. I am high strung, I bark at the wind, and yes, as you may have heard, I pee from time to time in the house.
HOWEVER Santa, overall, I am a very good puppy. I love the people and dogs in my life very much and am always willing to cuddle. I greet everyone I meet on the street. I come when called, mostly, unless I have a good reason. Most of all, I make Mommy smile.
Totally understand the final evaluation is up to you, big guy, and I just wanted you to know my thoughts. As you may have noticed, I have a mongrammed stocking hanging in the great room. I would very much appreciate a bone and perhaps a new chew toy. Mommy has provided more clothes than I can ever wear, so no need for that this year.
Jingle Jingle
Ben the Dog

I am Thankful

What a weekend!!! It was Thanksgiving and I had quite a day. Mom and Bob packed me up with Bella in Bob's truck and we went to Bob's parents for dinner in the evening. I had no idea I was going to be included and I was so EXCITED. I put on my monogrammed coat, hopped in the car, and got pumped. On the way there, Mommy talked on and on about how important it was that I behave and be a good example if I ever want to be invited back-let it go lady.
Well well well-Bella and I are not the only dogs at their house-they have 4 dogs of their own!!! The largest one is bigger than Mommy!!!! I could run really fast under their legs though and I only went to Mommy to be held one time-I was a brave boy. It was fun to explore their house-up and down the stairs I went, across their catwalk, under the table. I spent a lot of time sitting on one of the chairs at the kitchen table and on the back of their couch so that I could see if anyone else rang the doorbell. They even had a fenced in backyard! It was so much fun. When it was time for me to have dinner, Mommy put a special Beneful meal (thanks Aunt Farrah for the coupon) in my dish. All the other doggies wanted my food so Mommy and I sat in the bathroom so I could eat in peace-I hate to eat alone.
When everyone ate dinner, I sat quietly. I thought I would pretend to be a different dog-and it worked. Bob's parents kept saying how well behaved I was and Mommy kept laughing. Not funny. But I had them all fooled-I can bring it when I need to. It was a great day and thanks again to Bob's family for making me (and Mommy) feel so welcome. I promise to always be a good boy!

Warren comes South

Many of you know, Mommy's godfather (1 of 2) is Warren-and I just love him. He used to work at the zoo so he finds me entertaining. I have to say Mommy has been busy this weekend visiting but it's been fun to see him. On Saturday, Mommy had a bunch of her friends over to meet him. Once again, cooking cooking cooking. Lord lady, just sit. Well the babies descended and to the backyard I went. I thought if I barked then everyone would understand how important it was that I come inside. Everyone acted like since Bella was outside that made it better. I guess misery loves company but JUST LET ME IN. Recall how I love the little people-and this weekend there were 3-Hayden, Mikayla, AND McKenzie. Have we all forgotten that I bring the party?
I heard Mommy say "Dear God, Ben has been barking for 3 hours." and then Mr Joe replied "He's been barking for 5 1/2 years-seriously." Haha Mr Joe. What a funny guy. I am not laughing. Let me in.
Once the babies all headed home I was allowed to get back in the house but since the babies were gone I was determined to sit with Molly, who turns out, does not like her feet licked. There was no way to win on Saturday so I headed to bed and got some rest.
The weekend highlight was my new stuffed Lizard that Warren brought me from his latest trip to St Croix. It's orange and I am bringing it from room to room with me. I am naming it Warren in honor of him. Woof

Keeping it real.

Have I told you Mommy moved her office downstairs? You know what that means? I get to look out the window at the street while I sit with her-which makes barking at the kids when they get home from school so much easier. However, Mommy has discovered that since there are no doors on the downstairs study, when I bark, she has to mute the phone for her calls. But since Mommy likes to talk talk talk on the calls, sometimes she has to go to the garage to take the call while I protect us. I keep telling her it is a small price to pay for her safety. Mommy is not amused.
A few weeks ago Bella and I got left here while Mommy went out and I tell you what-we were annoyed. Enough is enough. Since Mommy had all her gas bills in a folder on her desk (something about her trying to get a rebate for the million dollar furnace) we decided-heck, no time like the present. We tore those bills to shreds-Mommy has no clue what they looked like. But man, it was fun. Paper everywhere, we were tossing it left and right. It was like confetti. Party on party doggies.
Mommy was traveling a bit in October for fun and for work (although I have a feeling she has some fun on those trips) so I was late getting to the groomer. Just got there last week. Seriously-my ear hair was dragging on the floor and I looked completely ridiculous. Like a fur coat-but I live in the south. So we headed down to the Dirty Dog Depot (I did not make up the name, I am just a customer) and got down to business. They won't do my nails there because of an unfortunate incident a few years ago so I also had to go to the vet to have that done. It was quite a day and I feel like I just starred in the Makeover show on Regis and Kelly. But Damn, I look good.

Checking in

It's been a bit since I updated because frankly I have been slammed. Mommy had a bunch of friends over a couple weeks ago (thus, all the cooking) and the place was invaded. People, babies, dogs, food, sangria. Literally a zoo. I should have known when Mom made me put on my orange bandana that something was about to ensue.
Mommy had fun though with all her friends which was really nice and my special friend Keira came by and we sat in the lawn chair together which is always fun. Bella the dog was there as was Kenzie (next dog neighbor) and Sam (a new canine friend). I had to share my toys but you know how that goes-you do what you can. I found some BBQ on the floor and had a feast. Unfortunately, it came back up the next day but like all good things-it was worth it.
Mommy's been working a bit, and was gone this past weekend so I was flying solo. She is back though and can't stop trying on her new clothes-something about New York City and great shopping. I wish she would just sit down . Last night she finally got into bed with a book and I raced to her side. It's good to have her home.

Gentle is a misnomer

Well the other night Bella and I were packed into mommy's trunk and taken to Petsmart. It was pouring rain but I thought, heck, it's a field trip, bound to be fun.
What we left Petsmart with is NO FUN. Mommy bought a gentle leader harness. Apparently she is not thrilled with the way I walk on a leash and thought some direction would prove helpful.
Have you ever seen "Silence of the Lambs"? Well, I am the new puppy version of Hannibal Lector. The red harness goes over my snout and makes my teeth stand out-it's just not a pretty sight. However, Mommy is very happy because I can no longer pull on the leash when we walk which means that I am having NO FUN.
I really feel like I am starting to lose control over Mommy. I am plotting my next move to ensure I stay the boss. Stay tuned.
On a separate note-Hayden and Mikayla came over to play with us today. They were not phased by my Hanibal-like appearance. They wore me out-I had to excuse myself for a nap on the couch in the sun. Mommy as been cleaning all day and doing some cooking-I think she is up to something again. Why won't she just sit and cuddle?

pull up a chair

Turns out I am not supposed to sit on the coffee table. Just so you know.

Invasion

This past Saturday, I knew something was up. Mommy gave me my choice of bandanas to wear-I chose bright blue to contrast with my fur. I stood by the door, knowing full well that something significant was about to happen.
A minivan pulled up and out came a circus. Aunt Michelle showed up with Joe and the babies, Hayden and Mikayla. They came with their bags, matching outfits and their baby golf clubs. And to the backyard I was locked-with Bella the bulldog-who was wearing one of my bandanas (I don't recall lending out my clothes)
I could see the girls through the sliding glass door and just to show how excited I was, I jumped for about 20 minutes. Bella just sat next to me-she had not met the babies so she did not know how critical it was we get inside to have fun. The babies bring lots of toys and often have food in their hands that is easy to get to. Once Bella and I got inside (when the boys were cooking on the grill) it was a mad dash to see what Hayden and Mikayla had in their hands. Good news-they love crackers and they are perfect to steal one from. Needless to say, Bella and I went to work getting our own appetizers. If only we could have reached the hummus......
Of course, once the burgers were done and dinner was served, we were banished outside again. It was only when they all decided to have dessert did they come out to the patio. I was just so glad to see Joe, I had to keep licking him. Turns out the babies get yogourt on their faces and Bella alerted me that we too could have dessert if we worked quickly-and lick we did. It was a great meal for all.
I have to say that all this happened after a very long day at the dog park. We all went to the small dog side since apparently I am considered a small dog-by whom, I have no idea. We ran around over there for a while and then I got bored with the silliness and we all headed to the big dog section. Bella is a pain-all she wants to do is meet the humans, it was like she was trying to find a new owner. We all do this to keep our parents on their game, so they know they are lucky we stay with them-and it makes them feel more loved, like we have "chosen" to live with them. I told her the best way to do that is just to run away and make your parent search for you (my mommy has literally crawled under a deck, and then loved on me-everybody wins) . I ran around for a while, and then finally laid down in the dirt-I was beat. One dog growled at me on the way out but I told him and his owner (who was so dumb, she was on a cell phone, not even paying attention) where to go.
By the time the babies left, I wanted a hot bath but Mommy was too tired, so I hopped in bed and got under the covers, and started to doze off. Life has its ups and downs, but Saturday was really one of the ups.

drama drama drama

So Mommy caught me licking my tail and flipped out because where my bump had been.....was a new bump. It wasn't 2 minutes and Mommy had the vet on speeddial (you would think they were friends), had an appointment, and hauled my puppy tail to the vet. Nothing like a little hysteria on a Wednesday morning.
After being poked, prodded, having a culture done (what the heck is that, but let me tell you it does not feel good?), the doctor determined that I have an infection from the last surgery. We headed home, I curled up and watched Oprah, and all was well.
Til the next morning. My belly was feeling a bit rough and I was not interested in my kibble. I started looking like I was going to hurl and Mommy raced me to the bathroom and made me stand on the sink-heaven forbid I mess up her perfect carpet. Mommy gets insane again, thinks I have an allergy to the antibiotics. Good news-vet tells Mommy I need chicken and rice and new medicine. Both did the trick, bump has decreased, and it appears I am going to make it (like there was ever a doubt). Plus I got some yummy food-Mommy is always cooking for other people but never for me...she is so human centric.
Mommy keeps saying I need to get a J-O-B. I know what that is (Mommy has one) and I sure as heck don't need to be doing that. Getting up every morning out of bed, talk talk talk on the phone, no time to bark at UPS guy. Turns out the saving of my tail has hit about $800-Mommy thinks it's funny to say I am past my deductible-Whatever that is.
Turns out there is a new flowerbed in the backyard so I have been investigating that and of course getting yelled at to stay out of it. Turns out my name is "Bennie-NO". So many butterflies to chase. Kenzie from next door came by to say hey and Bella has stopped by too. So many girls to visit with, such a short leash I am kept on. It's a tough time.
Mommy has had a cold which I love because then she cuddles with me extra. However, Aunt Michelle called to have dinner tonight and all of the sudden Mommy is feeling better. I see how it goes. I will be watching 20/20 solo tonight-and not surfing MONSTER.com for a J-O-B.

What a weekend

So this weekend was off the chain. Friday afternoon, Mommy's college roommate, Miss Amy, arrived from Ohio. But she was not alone. She brought a furry friend-her doggie Austin. Austin was very furry and lots of fun. We had a great weekend together. I showed him how to use the dog door, and best of all, we got to all go swimming together! I have my life jacket, of course (which I am thinking of asking Mommy to monogram so there is no confusion whose jacket it is) and Mommy borrowed another one from Aunt Michelle so that Austin could swim too. Turns out he is a bad ass swimmer too but it was his first time swimming-not bad for a rookie. As you know, I love to swim so I spent most of the weekend swimming around the boat, having Mommy hold me, and swimming after Miss Amy. We did that on Saturday and Sunday and I was pretty beat-spent most of the night in my dog bed chilling out.
On Monday, Bella came by and everyone thought it would be funny to see if a bulldog can swim-myself included. We threw that lifejacket on her and hit the boat. Turns out she does not sink-and I was the first to be shocked. She swam all over and had a blast. I myself was a bit pruny from swimming all weekend so I chilled in the boat-love the water but let's get real-I am a terrier not a water buffalo.
Needless to say, I am really happy Mommy is back from her travels all over the globe for fun and work. Today she is working from home and I could not be happier. Hoping we can watch some animal planet later on and hit the bed. It's been a busy week and I need some one on one with Mommy.
I want to give a special shout out to Austin and thank him for the 'thank you' note he sent me and the photo of us and our moms swimming together. Mommy already put that in a frame in the bedroom so I can look at it-we are a nice looking pack. Peace

where is mommy

she hit the road almost a week ago and i sure as heck can't find her.  word has it she hopped a plane to the virgin islands-something about needing a break.  Totally ridiculous.  Meanwhile I am chilling at a friend's and imprisoned during the day in my cage. I found her itinerary and she'll be home Sat.  Not soon enough for me that is for sure.  My friend Bella is with me so I am not at a total loss but competing for attention is not my thing.  I need mommy back.  For as much trouble as I cause-I do think she is pretty cool.  Lord knows I get away with more at home than i do here......

Rough night

I think I am hung over.
When Mommy went out this weekend, I decided that Bella, my friend, and I should get into the trash. Not going to lie, it was my idea, but the bacon greased paper towel in the trash was far to much for me to handle. I realized if I took the entire trash bag out of the can, then I could drag it into the great room and even pull some food into the carpeted study so I could comfortably lay down and inspect all the contents of the trash. It was so much easier to do with Bella helping me. She was a reluctant co-conspirator, but you know what a little peer pressure can do. Once we were done eating the trash, we were thirsty, and I am so over water. Mommy had this awesome Sour Apple Vodka in the dining room on the lowest shelf. Man, that stuff smelled great and between Bella and I we were able to gnaw the cap off. There was an accident-vodka did go all over the hard wood floor but luckily between the two of us, we were able to lick it all up. Delicious!
HOWEVER-about 45 minutes later I passed out on the table on the patio. Mommy and her friend thought that was a great time to give Bella and me baths with the hose in the backyard. Talk about punishment. They kept saying that we were like teenagers that could not be left alone. Can't a guy get some peace? Needless to say, I have been bumping into things, and not really interested in the kibble. It was a rough night and did not get much sleep. Bella seems fine but like I have mentioned-she's not little like me. Maybe she has more experience in the party scene than I do. Long weekend and of course Mommy is working from home on those damn conference calls-reverberating on the speaker phone. And not helping my spiliting headache.
No worries, there is a bottle of rum still down there if things get boring again.

The visitor

So today Mommy was working from home and you know I love those days because it means I get extra love and attention. Well I was so excited but did not know that we were having a visitor, canine, that is. In comes Bella.
Bella is an English Bulldog. Bella is the dog of a friend of Mommy's and since she was a home today, Bella came to visit. Now I have met Bella before, but she has never crashed a 'working from home' day.
I have to say it's been ok with the exception that Bella has some digestive issues-if you know what I mean. And she eats my food. Of course she does-only the best for me (wink wink Mommy). So far she has spent most of the day lumbering around. Because she is so big she slides on the tile and hardwood so I win all the games we play. Just because I am little does not mean that I am not fierce.
Someone came to check the AC unit-never seen him before and I was glad for the backup of Bella. I can bark, but heck, I am 12 lbs. Let's be real. I can't really do much which is why I bark. But Bella-well she is 50 lbs of .....something. And I don't think anyone wants to mess with that. Mommy says Bella means beautiful in Italian....really?

you think you are hot

I am so tired of all the humans talking about how hot it is. Are you kidding me? I am a furry dog that has black hair.
You think you are hot. Try being furry. So much for the big backyard and all my fun. As it is, I have successfully dug up the flower beds so there is not a ton to do back there. Plus, Mommy has been running the sprinkler. You would think that I would find that fun, but heck no! I hate it. I don't like to get wet in the backyard, that makes no sense.
The other night we had a thunderstorm and it was LOUD. Mommy was working on her makeup (what else is new) and I hid in the bathtub. Mommy thought that was pretty funny. Not funny at all-it's a safe place (guess she does not watch the Weather Channel).
Not much else is new. Mommy was away this weekend and my doggie sitter came over. I love her and she told Mommy I am sweet so I guess I have her fooled too.

my tail

For all of you who are looking at me thinking, "what is up with that dog's tail????", this is for you.
Yes, I had surgery on my rear asset. Yes, they had to shave a portion of my tail. And no, Mommy does not own an electric razor to shave the rest of it so it is all one length. Yes, I am left with what appears to be a plume at the tip of my tail. And yes, I like the way I look. I will change when I am ready.
Also, yes, I did go through the dog door with the cone on my head. Yes, I tore the door. Mommy ordered a new one. And yes, you can 'add it to the bill' for my surgery.

conehead

Sadly friends, I have no idea where to start. It's been a hell of a week and a half. Mommy went away with her friends couple weeks ago, and I had a new dogsitter. Things went well there-love her. I was so glad to see Mommy and thought we were back on track.
Bright and early Monday morning, Mommy throws my puppy tail in the car and we start driving. I thought we were headed to doggie day care-one of my fave places. Well we passed that place and kept going on to the VET. We got there, sat in the waiting room, and Mommy seemed nervous so I had a feeling that this was not my manicure day.
One of the vet techs came out and took me from Mommy. My eyes about popped out of my head-what the heck is going on? It couldn't have been good because Mommy was in tears and said something to the tech about the fact that I am her family and they needed to take care of me. Nothing like a little drama, Mommy.
Well, it wasn't long before I was fast asleep and had not a clue what was going on. When I woke up, I was under a little heat lamp-kind of like being at the beach only I was so tired I could not run. I was in a little bed. My little tail was hurting a bit....never mind that. I could see my reflection in the plastic on the bed and damn-my teeth looked amazing! How about that? I kept napping for a while and eventually woke up. Good news-Mommy was there when they brought me into the waiting room. We were so happy to see each other. Mommy told me how brave I was-I sure am! Then it happened-they took me back in the exam room and put this white thing on my head-Mommy calls me 'conehead'!!! Turns out I had a bump on my tail that had to go, and when I was sleeping the doctor removed it and took care of my pearly whites. I was left with 6 stitches, a cone on my head, and a drama show with my mom. Mommy really thought the Cone was funny and did a photoshoot one day of me. Are you kidding? Did I take pics of you when you had that cast on your wrist? Of course not, I maintained your dignity.....thanks Mommy-for nothing.
I have to say the highlight has been that twice a day I get my medicine with either cheese or pepperoni-like a pizza in a minute. Also, Mommy has been working from home and even Aunt Michelle and Uncle James and Grandma sent cards. Mommy also updated my health on Facebook (she needs to get out more) and got so much attention there too. I have been doing really well and Mommy has stopped forcing the issue with the cone. Thank God. The dogs in the neighborhood were making fun of me to no end. I get the stitches out on Friday and that is going to a "hell yea" day. I am so over Mommy yelling at me when I go for the stitches.....

Where is Mommy?

So the alarm went off at 4am this AM and Mommy jumped out of bed like a fool. Here we go again. Runs to the shower, brush through her hair. She looked like hell but ran off to the car to catch a plane. Turns out she is headed to NY again (3x in 3 weeks), and I here I sit in the house again. Thank goodness for the puppy door so I can get out and get some sun. Good news is that she is coming home tonight......Mommy has been really busy lately. Something about Jr League membership credits and being short so she had to do extra volunteer hours. Mommy promised me that she will be home this weekend and we can play. Turns out Aunt Farrah and little Wyatt are coming this weekend. They better be fun and Aunt Farrah better be bringing her coupons (she works for Purina and Mommy only buys my yummy Beneful meals when she has a coupon). You know how it goes when company comes. This should be interesting-we don't ususally have little people stay with us so I am sure Mommy will be running around crazy like she does.
Oh Lord, what is that? The lawn people are here. Do they not know that I am needing some peace? I better terrorize them in the backyard.

AC

Had a fun weekend but let me tell you something. When the temperature hits 80Degrees-TURN ON THE AC. I am a furry little guy and I can't take the heat. Mommy turned on the air on Sunday afternoon but she could have turned it on a lot sooner. Always one to save a dime, Mommy felt pretty bad when she saw me panting.
We took a walk on Sunday before Mommy went to church and she screamed when we were rounding the corner. Turns out she saw a BIG SNAKE. I never saw it because she made me run away so quickly. Not a brave one, my mom.
So on Monday morning around 4am I am just chilling out, sleeping on my monogrammed bed when out of nowhere Mommy jumps out of bed and races to the shower. Are you kidding me?
She throws on her suit (must have been a big day-you know she hates wearing that thing), grabs her briefcase, and hits the road-all by 4:30. She is something else. Turns out she had to go to NY for work but was nice enough to be sure Miss Molly and Kenzie from next door had me over to play when Miss Molly came home from work. You know I am not a loner-need my peeps around to stay happy. When Mommy came home Monday, she came to Miss Molly's door and I went insane barking. Miss Molly said she may be deaf now. I just was so happy Mommy was home with me-nothing better.
Mommy bought all new bedding and I love it because it is darker than her old stuff-so now I can get muddy, roll around, and she is never the wiser. She is on to me with the peeing on the stairs though and has been chasing me with the Petzyme. I am just trying to christen the carpet-it's my job.

Peace

So as you may know, Mommy does not sleep really easy. She is up during the night and has no respect for me. She turns on the TV, last night she even had the nerve to go get a snack at 2am. WTF. This is not an all night diner. No matter how much I sigh, roll over, or hide under the blankets, she just does as she pleases. You would think she owned the house. Fortunately it is the weekend.....we usually take a nap together on the weekend which is SO FUN. I let her cuddle with me until she falls asleep. Don't tell her-but once she is asleep I move down to my monogrammed pillow. I don't want her to know how hot I get when we cuddle because I am so furry. But I do it for her because I love her.

Captivity

I hate Thursdays. Mommy hired someone to cut the grass each week and you know what that means-Bennie is locked in the house as a captive. Mommy covers the dog door with the panel that locks me in. Well well well......you have to work pretty hard to keep me in the house. I have figured out how to hit the panel, get it risen, so I can get outside. On the flip side, though, it means that once I am in the yard, I am stuck and can't get back in the house. Mommy thinks it is pretty funny but I am not laughing. When she came back from her errands, there I was, staring at her through the glass doors. HA.I need to be able to come and go-you know how it is.
I have been coughing a bit today because I ate some lint in the laundry. Of course Mommy was ready to take me to the emergency vet-CHILL OUT MOMMY. She thinks I am high strung-whatever lady.
Peace.

chilly

Not sure what is going on in your neck of the woods but it was cold last night! Mommy had dinner plans last night (what else is new?) and was late getting home. I was so irritated I took all the pillows off the couch-who's boss now? As soon as Mommy got home I hit the hay and tried to warm up and hid under the covers. I thought I would get some quiet under the covers but Mommy was talking on the phone and then insisted we watch the Hills premiere last night instead of Animal Planet. WTF. Have you seen the Hills? Such trash TV.
As Mommy left this morning to head to the office, she said, in passing, that she has dinner plans again and left a light on for me. Whatever. I am ordering a pizza-and guess what Mommy-I am not using a coupon.

It's been a crazy few weeks that is for sure but wanted to update you on the highlights. Couple weekends ago, Aunt Caitlin came down from NJ to chill with Mommy and me. Mommy kept telling me how much Aunt Caitlin has missed me, and how much fun we would all have. Well Mommy, when you roll in at 1am after going dancing, you all are clearly not going to be walking me at 8am. BIG LIAR. Mommy was all talk and no action. Finally, Sunday afternoon they pulled themselves together to walk me through the neighborhood which was better than nothing. See if I head to NJ next time Mommy goes, Aunt Caitlin. You will be missing my furry self.
Uncle Mike came to visit too over Easter. Good thing he was there because Mommy freaked on me when I brought a lizard into the house. She kept yelling to Uncle Mike that he has to get it and take it outside. I was just trying to show him my monogrammed bed.
The kicker last weekend was that Kenzie, my girlfriend from next door came over to chill. We hung out and ate some treats. Then there was an invasion. Turns out Mommy and her friend Miss Tabitha invited all the girls from the 6th grade youth group to sleep over. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Can I get 15 minutes of peace in my own house? To make matters worse, there was pepperoni all over the place because they were making pizzas. And no one gave me any. It's only my house. They didn't go to sleep until 1am after this ridiculous movie about a whale that was freed into the ocean-some guy named Willy (what kind of a name is that?). Needless to say, Sunday was a waste and I needed rest. But you know Mommy-never sits down and thought it was a great time to mulch the yard and plant the garden. When is she going to sit down and cuddle? It's been a fun time because we have had so much company and Mommy's friends have been coming over a lot so I am never lonely. Word has it Aunt Farrah and Wyatt are coming in May-I am not getting my hopes up but since Wyatt is only a year and probably does not go dancing, I may have a better shot chilling with him. Stay tuned.

Test time

Hello there puppy friends. Bet you have been wondering what I have been up to....the mystery is over.
I had a great day about 2 weeks ago. My friend Keira came over with her mom, Johanna, to have a picnic with Mom and me. Turns out no one brought me a doggie bag so I had to eat my boring chow but whatever. Even let Keira sit with me on my chair out on the patio-she is a pretty cool girl. Turns out her mom and dad have a blog too and I got my pic posted there-how you like that?
Just when you thought Mark the trainer was gone-he reappeared. Mommy packed me up into the car and we went over to Rivergate Shopping Center. Rock on, I thought, get me some burger and ice cream, bark at the kids, call it a night. Well there was Mark sitting by the fountain, just waiting for me-oh hell no. So on goes my leash and we prance around the sidewalk like I am a sideshow. Mark lets every person in the whole stupid place pet me while I am sitting. Mommy just looked on laughing. To make matters worse, Mark gave Mommy the leash, and told her to try to get me to sit when people came by. Then he pretended to leave-I am a dog, not a fool. Hello Mark, I see you around the corner and am not amused. Then he reappeared like it was a big surprise. The whole act just made me ill. I humored them though, because I heard them use the word 'test' so I thought-hell, maybe I can pass and end the pain.
Haven't seen Mark since but I keep hearing Mommy talk about something called 'refresher classes'. It's got me a bit concerned but I am holding out hope she will forget. For now, I am heading back to my little bed-maybe get some cuddles from Mommy.
Later-Bennie