Lordy Lordy it is cold. I am writing this from under the blankets in Mommy's bed.
This week was Halloween, a truly stressful holiday. I was a pirate this year which thankfully only required a tshirt (pics to come on mom's facebook) but I got locked outside for most of the evening....intruders kept ringing the bell. Bella was out there with me and Lucy, Aunt Ashley's dog, came over too. We huddled on the patio to keep warm. Meanwhile, the peeps inside ate on some pizza. Not sure how this is a holiday.
As you might imagine, cold weather throws Mommy into a tizzy with the baking situation. She's at it again, flour everywhere, it's enough to make me take a nap. Peanut butter cookies taste best.
Today we had a serious intruder. Bella noticed it first-several deer in the backyard. Bella hurled herself through the dog door (not an easy thing to do with her girth) and ran out in the yard barking, me right on her tail. I jumped and almost cleared the retaining wall and let me tell you-the deer were scared! Oh yes, they ran away. Peace out deer-don't hit up my yard again. I am fierce and my 'sister' is a bulldog.
Stay warm. I am thinking of throwing on my cableknit sweater today. Licks, Bennie
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
No excuses
Fans, it's been too long. Let me tell you what has been going on.
Just after my last blog, Mom and Bob left AGAIN and went to the Virgin Islands. They were gone about a week and while I tried, I was unable to be a good boy for Ashley. I won't go into my behavior, but rest assured, the word "destructive" came up quite a bit. I made my peace with Ashley and we are friends again, thank goodness. Hate making my girlfriends sad.
So when Mom and Bob came home, Mom had something shiny on her finger and that equates to Bob and Bella are not leaving. They are here to stay. I am grappling with this on so many levels. First off, let's talk about Bob. Nice enough guy, good to Mommy. However, he has an iron fist when it comes to discipline. Thus, on some days, we are like oil and water. He has implemented use of the kennel far more frequently than I would prefer. Bob does not find me as adorable as Mommy which has presented issues when I work to be forgiven.....and then there is Bella. We all know it's been a interesting road, Bella and me. She snores, she farts, she eats my food-just not a lady, you know? I have tried to overlook her poor qualities because she will play with me if I provoke her to, which has proven to be entertaining. When we wrestle, I always win. But that's my life-winning. Bella has also proven to be a great protector from the collie down the street (coincidentally, also named Bella). I don't have the size to scare her (although I assure you I bark and bark at her) but Bella just lets out one growl and we are good to go. I can even tinkle on her grass without retribution.
I am no weather dog but it has not stopped raining in Charlotte in days. I can't deal with the wet ground on my delicate paws so I have had to resort to tinkling in the house again. I know, I know, not ideal, not what a 'grown boy' should do. I have heard enough. You go outside in the rain to find the right spot and relieve yourself, Bob. See how you like it. Now the poo in the study, I knew that would make no one happy-I admit it. A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do. And Mommy, you can stop saying "Bennie, you know better". Damn skippy I do-when you go outside to use the potty in the rain, I will too. Peace.
The backyard continues to be a challenge. Recall the enormous fence. Recall I like to dig out. Recall Bob likes to pretend he is the boss. One night Mommy was out and Bob and I were chilling. I went up the stairs to tinkle (realizing my limited options in the rain). Then Bob turned on the oven. If you have forgotten, I am terrified of the oven. No sure why, maybe Mommy's ridiculous baking. Either way, I was done. I snuck past Bob and through the dog door. I went to a low spot in the fence. I DUG. I would have gotten out if Bob had not caught me-and he was not happy. I was put in my kennel until Mommy came home-all muddy. Bob said Mommy had to give me a bath because he was done. Hey BOB -I SAY WHEN WE ARE DONE.
They are leaving again this weekend and we have a new sitter. More to come on how she fares-not making any promises.
Just after my last blog, Mom and Bob left AGAIN and went to the Virgin Islands. They were gone about a week and while I tried, I was unable to be a good boy for Ashley. I won't go into my behavior, but rest assured, the word "destructive" came up quite a bit. I made my peace with Ashley and we are friends again, thank goodness. Hate making my girlfriends sad.
So when Mom and Bob came home, Mom had something shiny on her finger and that equates to Bob and Bella are not leaving. They are here to stay. I am grappling with this on so many levels. First off, let's talk about Bob. Nice enough guy, good to Mommy. However, he has an iron fist when it comes to discipline. Thus, on some days, we are like oil and water. He has implemented use of the kennel far more frequently than I would prefer. Bob does not find me as adorable as Mommy which has presented issues when I work to be forgiven.....and then there is Bella. We all know it's been a interesting road, Bella and me. She snores, she farts, she eats my food-just not a lady, you know? I have tried to overlook her poor qualities because she will play with me if I provoke her to, which has proven to be entertaining. When we wrestle, I always win. But that's my life-winning. Bella has also proven to be a great protector from the collie down the street (coincidentally, also named Bella). I don't have the size to scare her (although I assure you I bark and bark at her) but Bella just lets out one growl and we are good to go. I can even tinkle on her grass without retribution.
I am no weather dog but it has not stopped raining in Charlotte in days. I can't deal with the wet ground on my delicate paws so I have had to resort to tinkling in the house again. I know, I know, not ideal, not what a 'grown boy' should do. I have heard enough. You go outside in the rain to find the right spot and relieve yourself, Bob. See how you like it. Now the poo in the study, I knew that would make no one happy-I admit it. A dog's gotta do what a dog's gotta do. And Mommy, you can stop saying "Bennie, you know better". Damn skippy I do-when you go outside to use the potty in the rain, I will too. Peace.
The backyard continues to be a challenge. Recall the enormous fence. Recall I like to dig out. Recall Bob likes to pretend he is the boss. One night Mommy was out and Bob and I were chilling. I went up the stairs to tinkle (realizing my limited options in the rain). Then Bob turned on the oven. If you have forgotten, I am terrified of the oven. No sure why, maybe Mommy's ridiculous baking. Either way, I was done. I snuck past Bob and through the dog door. I went to a low spot in the fence. I DUG. I would have gotten out if Bob had not caught me-and he was not happy. I was put in my kennel until Mommy came home-all muddy. Bob said Mommy had to give me a bath because he was done. Hey BOB -I SAY WHEN WE ARE DONE.
They are leaving again this weekend and we have a new sitter. More to come on how she fares-not making any promises.
Monday, July 11, 2011
My friend Lucy
My friend Lucy came to visit last week. She is a golden retreiver and her mom is Bob's sister, Ashley (who is yet another of my admirers). Lucy is much more fun than Bella because sleeping is not her foremost priority. She and I played outside and then we chased each other from one end of the second floor to the other. Every now and then Bella rises from the dead to see what's up, maybe try to steal a toy, and then head back to her bed. It does not make me happy, though, when people visited, and Mommy said to them, "Lucy is the best of the three of them". How about an ounce of loyalty, Mommy??? You don't need to keep it that real.
Mommy left this morning for a business trip to NYC (Mommy thinks she is something special) and word has it that Becca is coming to walk me tomorrow since I am relegated to the cage (which Mommy and Bob affectionally call a kennel, like that makes it better). Bob better hurry home-I have to tinkle.....doing my best to hold it. What are you looking at, Big Bella?
Mommy left this morning for a business trip to NYC (Mommy thinks she is something special) and word has it that Becca is coming to walk me tomorrow since I am relegated to the cage (which Mommy and Bob affectionally call a kennel, like that makes it better). Bob better hurry home-I have to tinkle.....doing my best to hold it. What are you looking at, Big Bella?
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Just call me Dugger
I have not written in a while because my paws have been put to good use in the yard. Mommy and Bob decided they had not reaked enough havoc on the house so they took on the backyard. We had bulldozers (not bulldogs, Bella) level out the yard for the hole that I almost fell into....then they and Mr Joel laid 4 pallets (whatever that is-but they sure acted like heroes) of sod. Then-the new fence was installed. Took about a day for them to cage me in again.
Well Mommy-I cannot be contained that easily. I laid low at first, letting them think that they had won the battle. Just played outside and laid in the sun while Mommy worked from home since I don't need to wander when she is here. Who does she think she is, going to the office from time to time? She always make a joke that she is going out to 'get money for dog food'. WTF. So while she was gone at the office I worked really really hard and dug up the new sod (hehe mommy), crawled under the fence and hit the road. I tried to get Bella to come with me but her girth presented a challenge-so I left her behind. Every dog for himself. You may think I am quite the explorer but in truth, I really just stuck close to home. I went over to Miss Molly's house and sat on her front stoop. Kenzie the puppy saw me through the window and we just looked at each other til Miss Molly's visiting friend went out to his car and found me waiting to be let in. Easy as pie. Chilled in the AC with my girl Kenzie til Mommy came home. Big Bob was not pleased....he put all kinds of ghetto looking 2 by 4s against the fence to prevent me from the great escape. Fools. About 10 minutes after Mommy left the next day, I dug out in another section of the fence, left Bella sleeping on the chair, and headed to Miss Molly's. She saw me, let me in, and I was chillin like a villan with them all day. Sadly, Miss Molly called Mommy and Bob-who did not find this nearly as funny. Now there are bricks where I used to dig, but I have already demonstrated by strength by moving them all over the yard-I may be 12 lbs but I am fierce. However, I knew things had gone wrong when the kennel reappeared in the living room. Now, when Bella and I are without human supervision, I am relegated to the kennel and Bella just watches me from her perch on the upholstered chair. Unreal. I am considering negotiating with Mommy again but just to show her who is boss, when she was on the computer at home, I dug up a flowerbed. Don't mess with Bennie. I will not be ruled, and only contained by choice. Love you Mommy
Well Mommy-I cannot be contained that easily. I laid low at first, letting them think that they had won the battle. Just played outside and laid in the sun while Mommy worked from home since I don't need to wander when she is here. Who does she think she is, going to the office from time to time? She always make a joke that she is going out to 'get money for dog food'. WTF. So while she was gone at the office I worked really really hard and dug up the new sod (hehe mommy), crawled under the fence and hit the road. I tried to get Bella to come with me but her girth presented a challenge-so I left her behind. Every dog for himself. You may think I am quite the explorer but in truth, I really just stuck close to home. I went over to Miss Molly's house and sat on her front stoop. Kenzie the puppy saw me through the window and we just looked at each other til Miss Molly's visiting friend went out to his car and found me waiting to be let in. Easy as pie. Chilled in the AC with my girl Kenzie til Mommy came home. Big Bob was not pleased....he put all kinds of ghetto looking 2 by 4s against the fence to prevent me from the great escape. Fools. About 10 minutes after Mommy left the next day, I dug out in another section of the fence, left Bella sleeping on the chair, and headed to Miss Molly's. She saw me, let me in, and I was chillin like a villan with them all day. Sadly, Miss Molly called Mommy and Bob-who did not find this nearly as funny. Now there are bricks where I used to dig, but I have already demonstrated by strength by moving them all over the yard-I may be 12 lbs but I am fierce. However, I knew things had gone wrong when the kennel reappeared in the living room. Now, when Bella and I are without human supervision, I am relegated to the kennel and Bella just watches me from her perch on the upholstered chair. Unreal. I am considering negotiating with Mommy again but just to show her who is boss, when she was on the computer at home, I dug up a flowerbed. Don't mess with Bennie. I will not be ruled, and only contained by choice. Love you Mommy
Sunday, March 13, 2011
2 words-Bark Collar
I have been trying to help Mommy when she is on her calls for work but she is unappreciative. Believe it or not, I have quite a marketing mind and have plenty to contribute. About 2 weeks ago, a box arrived on the porch. Being the curious dog I am, I was sniffing and eager to get inside. A new collar! Bright red and full of personality, although a bit heavier than usual. Proudly, I let Bob put it on me-no new collar for Bella, just me. I ran around the house and to the backyard I went. I decided to let the neighbors know that I had a new collar. I jumped off the table and barked to tell the neighborhood. OUCH! What the heck was that? I had this awful pain in my neck. I was so confused, but I figured that was enough talking for me today. The next day I ended up laying on Mommy's bed. Love it there-I see everything going on in the street. When the kids came home from school, I assumed the position and began barking out the window. After my first bark, I about died, the pain was back! I had to abruptly stop barking in an effort to save myself. Now I am forced to wear the collar when Mommy is on a conference call so no one is benefiting from my business genius. Don't worry, I have been getting back at Mommy and Bob-I tinkle on the stairs. I don't have a pattern when I do this, I just like to keep them guessing. The best is when Bella and I are gated into the kitchen when Mommy and Bob leave. It's not easy, but I jump the gate and hang out on the stairs. There I can get some peace on my own. Since I can't jump back over the gate, I have no choice but to tinkle on the stairs and do my own thing. I win here, I win everywhere (sure you have seen that interview-way larger of a mess than I am). On a separate but related note, Mommy is still cooking. The smoke alarm continues to go off when she gets to zealous. The other evening I was trying to rest, and Mommy thought I would be happier wearing my polo, which was not true. But what's a dog to do? I wore it while she cooked her chicken and rice. Out of nowwhere, she burnt the wooden spoon-and the smoke detector went off. I ran into the garage and hid, shaking. When she finally coaxed me back in to the house I was so disgusted that I ran into the study and peed on the carpet-Right in front of Bob, who was on the phone with a customer. I knew he could not yell at me since he was on the phone. I win again.
Friday, February 18, 2011
I'm Back
It's been way too long. I must admit it's been a busy time but life is slowing down for us. Mommy has finally stopped traveling, the snow seems to have ended, and thankfully all holidays are behind Mommy which means no need to bake like a fool, and more time to snuggle.
As with most humans and the new year, Mommy is now on a new kick. Each day she and Bob lock Bella and me out of the great room, they turn on this DVD, and they are jumping all over the place and using these huge heavy things called weights. The look like fools and that only gets worse every time one of them gives the other a 'high five'. I have had quite enough of this-something with all letters and numbers, like P90X.
On another note, Bella and I are sick and tired of baths. We love the backyard, and we love to roll in the dirty area where there is no grass. As you know, Mommy is obsessed with having a clean house so presents conflict. We are now out of doggie shampoo and Mommy used human shampoo on us on Wednesday. We have never been so clean.
Mommy's birthday was this week and the place looks like a florist. Flowers everywhere and cards too. Everything is up high because Bella likes to eat paper. The other day she just went to town on a library book. Poor Bob keeps having to pay for all of the books Bella consumes. I try to stay out of it and bark at anyone that dares come in the cul-de-sac.
As with most humans and the new year, Mommy is now on a new kick. Each day she and Bob lock Bella and me out of the great room, they turn on this DVD, and they are jumping all over the place and using these huge heavy things called weights. The look like fools and that only gets worse every time one of them gives the other a 'high five'. I have had quite enough of this-something with all letters and numbers, like P90X.
On another note, Bella and I are sick and tired of baths. We love the backyard, and we love to roll in the dirty area where there is no grass. As you know, Mommy is obsessed with having a clean house so presents conflict. We are now out of doggie shampoo and Mommy used human shampoo on us on Wednesday. We have never been so clean.
Mommy's birthday was this week and the place looks like a florist. Flowers everywhere and cards too. Everything is up high because Bella likes to eat paper. The other day she just went to town on a library book. Poor Bob keeps having to pay for all of the books Bella consumes. I try to stay out of it and bark at anyone that dares come in the cul-de-sac.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
I'm like the wind
Snowmeggadon hit Charlotte on Sunday night. By morning, even the patio was covered with snow and not a patch to pee on. Mommy worked from home because there was no way I was letting her drive (she is a nightmare on the best day). As soon as we got up, I ran out the doggie door and jumped like a deer through the snow, my ears flapping in the wind (check out Mommy's facebook picture for a visual). I was flying and leaping! It was such fun. Bella wanted no part of it-stuck her head out the door and backed up. Such an old lady.
True to keeping the house clean, dish towels were laid in front of the doggie door so that I would not make a mess. It was cold, so Mommy put on my monogrammed coat so I would be warm when I played. I love that it says Ben across my back so no one else can wear it.
It snowed and snowed all day. Late Monday night Bob and Mommy took us for a walk down the road but it was very slippery. I was on a leash and still slid all over and you would have thought Mommy was 100-she was walking so slow. It was fun though I was happy to get home, eat a bacon strip, and crawl under the covers next to Mommy.
True to keeping the house clean, dish towels were laid in front of the doggie door so that I would not make a mess. It was cold, so Mommy put on my monogrammed coat so I would be warm when I played. I love that it says Ben across my back so no one else can wear it.
It snowed and snowed all day. Late Monday night Bob and Mommy took us for a walk down the road but it was very slippery. I was on a leash and still slid all over and you would have thought Mommy was 100-she was walking so slow. It was fun though I was happy to get home, eat a bacon strip, and crawl under the covers next to Mommy.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Recap
It's been quite a time of playing and gluttony. Christmas was great, got tons of fun toys, and thankfully no new outfits. It even snowed!!!! I have only seen snow a few times so it was pretty fun and Bell and I ran around and barked at the flakes. As you know, Mommy goes into full baking mode around Christmas and this was no exception. She made her holiday cake again and lucky for me, she is not very careful when she ices the cake, so plenty of vanilla buttercream landed on the floor. Nice.
The day after Christmas, though, things went the other way. Mommy and Bob left and were gone for several days-turns out they went to New York City. I was so mad. It was time to play with all my new toys and they were no place to be found. Fortunately, Becca, my doggie sitter, showed up to hang with Bella and me. I love her and even though I had a bone to pick with Mommy, I was glad to see my friend Becca.
No sooner did Mommy come home but she was putting stuff back in the suitcase-where do you think you are going Mommy? Like some big shot, she went to LA for a photoshoot and left me to chill with Bob at his house. It was ok but I was so mad that when Mommy came home, I pretended I could not hear her calling me. Ignored her for about 4 hours. Drove her crazy and she got really sad. As soon as I heard her say that maybe I needed to go to the vet for my hearing, I changed my tune. We all have a price and mine is not holding the grudge so long that I end up being inspected by the vet. By nighttime, Mommy had talked it out with me and from what I understand, she was not happy to leave me so much either. She forced me to snuggle with her in bed-not going to lie, she did not have to force hard-I missed her.
This weekend though it was back to cooking. Kenzie, my doggie friend next door's Mommy, Molly, had baby Ian. As you know when people have babies, Mommy starts nesting (so weird). You may have heard through the grapevine that I HATE when Mommy cooks. She often sets off the fire alarm and I am forced to hide. A few weeks ago I went right out the front door to the neighbor's house to find relief. Well on Saturday it was cooking soup, baking cookies, you name it. I have truly had it and would disconnect the gas line if I could. I headed upstairs to the bathroom and sat in the tub. I figure I am safest there. However, I heard so much banging down there that I had to stay in the tub longer than expected. Needless to say, Bob was not happy when he discovered I had peed in the tub. What's a dog to do when in distress?
The day after Christmas, though, things went the other way. Mommy and Bob left and were gone for several days-turns out they went to New York City. I was so mad. It was time to play with all my new toys and they were no place to be found. Fortunately, Becca, my doggie sitter, showed up to hang with Bella and me. I love her and even though I had a bone to pick with Mommy, I was glad to see my friend Becca.
No sooner did Mommy come home but she was putting stuff back in the suitcase-where do you think you are going Mommy? Like some big shot, she went to LA for a photoshoot and left me to chill with Bob at his house. It was ok but I was so mad that when Mommy came home, I pretended I could not hear her calling me. Ignored her for about 4 hours. Drove her crazy and she got really sad. As soon as I heard her say that maybe I needed to go to the vet for my hearing, I changed my tune. We all have a price and mine is not holding the grudge so long that I end up being inspected by the vet. By nighttime, Mommy had talked it out with me and from what I understand, she was not happy to leave me so much either. She forced me to snuggle with her in bed-not going to lie, she did not have to force hard-I missed her.
This weekend though it was back to cooking. Kenzie, my doggie friend next door's Mommy, Molly, had baby Ian. As you know when people have babies, Mommy starts nesting (so weird). You may have heard through the grapevine that I HATE when Mommy cooks. She often sets off the fire alarm and I am forced to hide. A few weeks ago I went right out the front door to the neighbor's house to find relief. Well on Saturday it was cooking soup, baking cookies, you name it. I have truly had it and would disconnect the gas line if I could. I headed upstairs to the bathroom and sat in the tub. I figure I am safest there. However, I heard so much banging down there that I had to stay in the tub longer than expected. Needless to say, Bob was not happy when he discovered I had peed in the tub. What's a dog to do when in distress?
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