Last night, everyone else, including Felicity the Bulldog, was in Isaiah's room doing prayer time or some nonsense like that. Let me tell you....things are a little cray here. The Bulldog requires a lot of attention....from her foot rash to her puking, frankly, I am not getting the attention to which I have become accustomed. Plus, the rugrats are back in school. They come in here like bats outta hell after the school day, yammering about this art thing and that crap they had for lunch. It's all I can do to hide in Mommy's bed, wait for her to come to bed, and snuggle.
I did have a few walks yesterday....but I may or may not have poo'ed on the counter last night when everyone exited the scene. Yes, in the kitchen. Yes, on the upgraded granite that Mommy covets. That she had just scrubbed for 30 minutes with an injured arm. Isaiah found the remnants when he came down for water-and the little bugger told on my-YELLING up the stairs. Oh Lord. Daddy was fuming....kept talking about how Felicity is the 'good dog'-WTF? She is a HOT MESS. You can't even compare.
I know deep down Mommy is not convinced that it was me.... she is considering that it could have been one of the kids, maybe even the Bulldog-or worse...DADDY!Daddy is not buying any excuses and knows that it is me.
I consider it a proverbial curse word. Take it as you will. Pay attention to me....you have been warned.
Ben the Dog
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Friday, August 14, 2015
Snores and Snacks
Felicity snores so loud she has to sleep in the guest room. So there Bulldog. I win. I am in Mommy's bed. She can't sleep well without me. I am being told that I should not sleep in Felicity's new bed, but how else can I demonstrate that I am the boss? She's like 100 times my size. Small victories.
How Felicity can sleep through the construction zone on the porch, I have no idea. The protection of the house is left to me. I have barked so much that I am relegated to the bark shock collar. Yes, it is as bad as it sounds.
Good news is that Mommy's cooking like she's on the food network. I got some yummy roast chicken yesterday. Between the carving and the kids, it was like a buffet of deliciousness. Love her new recipes. I will be sad when she goes back to work.
How Felicity can sleep through the construction zone on the porch, I have no idea. The protection of the house is left to me. I have barked so much that I am relegated to the bark shock collar. Yes, it is as bad as it sounds.
Good news is that Mommy's cooking like she's on the food network. I got some yummy roast chicken yesterday. Between the carving and the kids, it was like a buffet of deliciousness. Love her new recipes. I will be sad when she goes back to work.
Thursday, August 6, 2015
The new girl
Well it's happened. Mommy lost her marbles. Daddy's been asking for a bulldog ever since Bella went to heaven. Mommy was firm, and kept saying "my cup runneth over". Daddy said he'd get her a bowl for under that cup. And here came Felicity.
She's big, 2 years old and snores like I can't even stand. Neither can Mommy nor Daddy thank God.....Felicity spends her sleeping hours in Isaiah's room. Much better for all. Plus, I have seniority, being the old dog here. Let's be clear, Mommy has difficulty sleeping without my puppy cuddles. I am like crack for her.
Back to the bulldog. She's dying to be my BFF, jury is still out if she's cool enough. I've let her meet a few of my pack friends in the neighborhood. We will be having a quorum to determine her status. Here's the cray part.....she's supposed to be Daddy's dog, but it's like she's worshipping Mommy all day. Felicity won't even go pee in the yard if Mommy is inside. In fact, we've been doing the summer vacation at Daddy's family's and Felicity tried to get in the shower with Mommy. Mommy keeps screaming about a trainer so the bulldog can 'bond' appropriately with Daddy. Which totally annoys Daddy. Felicity is kind of a mess. Some breeder was really mean to her, made her sick, so she's on the mend with us. This translates to quite a regimen of medications, creams etc. We are like a traveling drugstore.
Speaking of vacation, we partied it up at Grandma and Grandpa's. I love going there. Lots of land to run on, Grandma gives me Little Caesar's wet food, and there are frogs to catch. Needless to say, I got a lot of baths due to swimming in the pond. Mommy got tired of me running away and said she needed peace with her beer, so she put me on the tether. Crap.
I have been resting during car ride am Curley headed to Ohio to see a friend of Mommy's. Chilling at the Marriott. More after my travels peeps.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Dental Hygiene
Ridiculousness has hit a new level. I was ushered to the vet for a dental cleaning. Daddy dropped me off, good thing because he is just much calmer in general about this type of event.
After much discussion, I found myself dozing off at the vet. When I awoke, I was warm, my mouth was sore, and I was in a KENNEL. Clearly my 'status' at the vet was not clearly communicated to the technicians. Try as a I might to rearrange all the pitiful blankets, it was to no avail-I was uncomfortable. I did my best not to bark or make a stink-I just hate when folks do that when they are at hotels or airport check ins. However, I let them know there that the blankets were not to my standard, and lacking the fluffyness I most prefer.
Mommy came and got me. I didn't even lick her. This hot mess has her name all over it. Had she dropped me off, I am sure she would have remembered to tell them about my kennel aversion. She asked like 200 questions of the doctor-Daddy says they charge by the minute so it's best to get out quickly....not Mommy. I am surprised the vet didn't join us for dinner.
Speaking of that, Mommy, you could have heated up the chicken broth that you put in my food. Do you like cold soup? Of course not.
Mommy explained to the kids that they should let me rest, but you know how that goes in this circus of a house. Isaiah flying crap in the air, Ciera running around with some makeup nonsense. Good Grief.
Today has been better. It had to be.
After much discussion, I found myself dozing off at the vet. When I awoke, I was warm, my mouth was sore, and I was in a KENNEL. Clearly my 'status' at the vet was not clearly communicated to the technicians. Try as a I might to rearrange all the pitiful blankets, it was to no avail-I was uncomfortable. I did my best not to bark or make a stink-I just hate when folks do that when they are at hotels or airport check ins. However, I let them know there that the blankets were not to my standard, and lacking the fluffyness I most prefer.
Mommy came and got me. I didn't even lick her. This hot mess has her name all over it. Had she dropped me off, I am sure she would have remembered to tell them about my kennel aversion. She asked like 200 questions of the doctor-Daddy says they charge by the minute so it's best to get out quickly....not Mommy. I am surprised the vet didn't join us for dinner.
Speaking of that, Mommy, you could have heated up the chicken broth that you put in my food. Do you like cold soup? Of course not.
Mommy explained to the kids that they should let me rest, but you know how that goes in this circus of a house. Isaiah flying crap in the air, Ciera running around with some makeup nonsense. Good Grief.
Today has been better. It had to be.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
I'm a runaway
While laying on the couch while Mommy and the kids were gone the other day, the front door swung wide open. Why? Who the hell knows.
However, I determined I must explore . I headed out the door, and made myself comfortable resting in the grass of the front yard. Kind of liberating. A neighbor friend came by, noticed my resting place, and moved me back inside, shutting the door. So much for my exploration.
As luck would have it, the door swung open again. I guess I do live in the barn Mommy has suggested all these years. This time, I made my way. I headed out the door, ran around the neighborhood for a while. It's hotter than Hades out there. A black furry dog can't last long.
I sauntered to my friend Maureen's house. She's got 3 little doggie girls that are my friends, so I thought her driveway would be the best place to rest. Surely, she'd find me.
And she did! She opened her garage to head out, and I ran to her. Any port in a storm! Sadly, Maureen called Mommy, alerted her, and you can imagine the ---- storm that ensued. When Mommy got home, there was all kinds of hub bub. Where was Benny? What's wrong with the dog? Should we call the builder of the house to address the issue? Who left the door unlocked? Daddy was not happy-you know him "safety first" and all that jazz. I just found a good space under the kitchen table to rest, find crumbs and bask in the glory of my journey.
However, I determined I must explore . I headed out the door, and made myself comfortable resting in the grass of the front yard. Kind of liberating. A neighbor friend came by, noticed my resting place, and moved me back inside, shutting the door. So much for my exploration.
As luck would have it, the door swung open again. I guess I do live in the barn Mommy has suggested all these years. This time, I made my way. I headed out the door, ran around the neighborhood for a while. It's hotter than Hades out there. A black furry dog can't last long.
I sauntered to my friend Maureen's house. She's got 3 little doggie girls that are my friends, so I thought her driveway would be the best place to rest. Surely, she'd find me.
And she did! She opened her garage to head out, and I ran to her. Any port in a storm! Sadly, Maureen called Mommy, alerted her, and you can imagine the ---- storm that ensued. When Mommy got home, there was all kinds of hub bub. Where was Benny? What's wrong with the dog? Should we call the builder of the house to address the issue? Who left the door unlocked? Daddy was not happy-you know him "safety first" and all that jazz. I just found a good space under the kitchen table to rest, find crumbs and bask in the glory of my journey.
Monday, July 6, 2015
Invasion
Where to begin? So much has happened.
The biggest news is that Mom and Dad decided, hey, let's make life crazy and adopt 2 kids. Yup, you heard me right. Some people say, hey, let's have kids, and get one....few years later, maybe consider another.....not my family. Go big or go home. Let's get 2! Let's rock our world. Let's freak the life out of our dog, who, if you recall, is in his golden years. Let's introduce havoc into our neat and clean home.
So last fall, these 2 kids moved in with us. To be honest, they are fun and cute, but they are LOUD. Especially Ciera, she's the girl. She's 6 and never stops talking. EVER. Isaiah is 7, and never makes his bed, so I have found that to be a great place to rest and cuddle up. Isaiah is quieter so I often spend my evenings resting on his bed while he sleeps. I think it makes him happy.
But the noise! There are now toys that fly-enough to put me into therapy, toys that make strange noises, toys all over Isaiah's floor, puzzles, crayons, enough stuff for a dog to build a new house.
I spent Christmas day on Mommy's bed. About every 45 minutes Mommy would head upstairs to find me, check on me, and head back to cook. It was the only quiet place-I think she would have liked to be up there cuddled on the bed with me. She kept telling people she got over 15K steps in and never left the house.....but I know she's rather have napped.
The kids love to walk me on my leash but gentle they are not. I get pulled all over. They love to run, so I work to keep up. They do love to pet me, and that works for everyone involved. I have made a few escapes only to be retrieved.
So what's Mommy like now? Well I could write an entire manuscript about her. She never sits down now unless she's doing her bank work. She's running around here like a lunatic, cooking, laundry, lunches, you name it. She's not forgotten me though....and because she's at home working a lot, I still get some 1:1 time where she talks about the stuff the kids have not cleaned up, I stare at her, and then she gets back to work. And, she won't let me sleep anywhere but with her. Don't get me wrong, I typically would find my way to her bed anyway, but now I am kind of part of a power play between she and Isaiah. The kids are supposed to feed me, but you can imagine how that goes. Good news is that they are messy and snacks are aplenty on the floor.
Mommy took time off this summer to spend with the kids, but deep down I know she did it to spend time with me because she feels bad that she adopted the kids and really never consulted me. So, she and I have made our peace through long walks and extra treats.
Daddy, well, let's just say he's hanging on.
The biggest news is that Mom and Dad decided, hey, let's make life crazy and adopt 2 kids. Yup, you heard me right. Some people say, hey, let's have kids, and get one....few years later, maybe consider another.....not my family. Go big or go home. Let's get 2! Let's rock our world. Let's freak the life out of our dog, who, if you recall, is in his golden years. Let's introduce havoc into our neat and clean home.
So last fall, these 2 kids moved in with us. To be honest, they are fun and cute, but they are LOUD. Especially Ciera, she's the girl. She's 6 and never stops talking. EVER. Isaiah is 7, and never makes his bed, so I have found that to be a great place to rest and cuddle up. Isaiah is quieter so I often spend my evenings resting on his bed while he sleeps. I think it makes him happy.
But the noise! There are now toys that fly-enough to put me into therapy, toys that make strange noises, toys all over Isaiah's floor, puzzles, crayons, enough stuff for a dog to build a new house.
I spent Christmas day on Mommy's bed. About every 45 minutes Mommy would head upstairs to find me, check on me, and head back to cook. It was the only quiet place-I think she would have liked to be up there cuddled on the bed with me. She kept telling people she got over 15K steps in and never left the house.....but I know she's rather have napped.
The kids love to walk me on my leash but gentle they are not. I get pulled all over. They love to run, so I work to keep up. They do love to pet me, and that works for everyone involved. I have made a few escapes only to be retrieved.
So what's Mommy like now? Well I could write an entire manuscript about her. She never sits down now unless she's doing her bank work. She's running around here like a lunatic, cooking, laundry, lunches, you name it. She's not forgotten me though....and because she's at home working a lot, I still get some 1:1 time where she talks about the stuff the kids have not cleaned up, I stare at her, and then she gets back to work. And, she won't let me sleep anywhere but with her. Don't get me wrong, I typically would find my way to her bed anyway, but now I am kind of part of a power play between she and Isaiah. The kids are supposed to feed me, but you can imagine how that goes. Good news is that they are messy and snacks are aplenty on the floor.
Mommy took time off this summer to spend with the kids, but deep down I know she did it to spend time with me because she feels bad that she adopted the kids and really never consulted me. So, she and I have made our peace through long walks and extra treats.
Daddy, well, let's just say he's hanging on.
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