Rough night

I think I am hung over.
When Mommy went out this weekend, I decided that Bella, my friend, and I should get into the trash. Not going to lie, it was my idea, but the bacon greased paper towel in the trash was far to much for me to handle. I realized if I took the entire trash bag out of the can, then I could drag it into the great room and even pull some food into the carpeted study so I could comfortably lay down and inspect all the contents of the trash. It was so much easier to do with Bella helping me. She was a reluctant co-conspirator, but you know what a little peer pressure can do. Once we were done eating the trash, we were thirsty, and I am so over water. Mommy had this awesome Sour Apple Vodka in the dining room on the lowest shelf. Man, that stuff smelled great and between Bella and I we were able to gnaw the cap off. There was an accident-vodka did go all over the hard wood floor but luckily between the two of us, we were able to lick it all up. Delicious!
HOWEVER-about 45 minutes later I passed out on the table on the patio. Mommy and her friend thought that was a great time to give Bella and me baths with the hose in the backyard. Talk about punishment. They kept saying that we were like teenagers that could not be left alone. Can't a guy get some peace? Needless to say, I have been bumping into things, and not really interested in the kibble. It was a rough night and did not get much sleep. Bella seems fine but like I have mentioned-she's not little like me. Maybe she has more experience in the party scene than I do. Long weekend and of course Mommy is working from home on those damn conference calls-reverberating on the speaker phone. And not helping my spiliting headache.
No worries, there is a bottle of rum still down there if things get boring again.

The visitor

So today Mommy was working from home and you know I love those days because it means I get extra love and attention. Well I was so excited but did not know that we were having a visitor, canine, that is. In comes Bella.
Bella is an English Bulldog. Bella is the dog of a friend of Mommy's and since she was a home today, Bella came to visit. Now I have met Bella before, but she has never crashed a 'working from home' day.
I have to say it's been ok with the exception that Bella has some digestive issues-if you know what I mean. And she eats my food. Of course she does-only the best for me (wink wink Mommy). So far she has spent most of the day lumbering around. Because she is so big she slides on the tile and hardwood so I win all the games we play. Just because I am little does not mean that I am not fierce.
Someone came to check the AC unit-never seen him before and I was glad for the backup of Bella. I can bark, but heck, I am 12 lbs. Let's be real. I can't really do much which is why I bark. But Bella-well she is 50 lbs of .....something. And I don't think anyone wants to mess with that. Mommy says Bella means beautiful in Italian....really?

you think you are hot

I am so tired of all the humans talking about how hot it is. Are you kidding me? I am a furry dog that has black hair.
You think you are hot. Try being furry. So much for the big backyard and all my fun. As it is, I have successfully dug up the flower beds so there is not a ton to do back there. Plus, Mommy has been running the sprinkler. You would think that I would find that fun, but heck no! I hate it. I don't like to get wet in the backyard, that makes no sense.
The other night we had a thunderstorm and it was LOUD. Mommy was working on her makeup (what else is new) and I hid in the bathtub. Mommy thought that was pretty funny. Not funny at all-it's a safe place (guess she does not watch the Weather Channel).
Not much else is new. Mommy was away this weekend and my doggie sitter came over. I love her and she told Mommy I am sweet so I guess I have her fooled too.

my tail

For all of you who are looking at me thinking, "what is up with that dog's tail????", this is for you.
Yes, I had surgery on my rear asset. Yes, they had to shave a portion of my tail. And no, Mommy does not own an electric razor to shave the rest of it so it is all one length. Yes, I am left with what appears to be a plume at the tip of my tail. And yes, I like the way I look. I will change when I am ready.
Also, yes, I did go through the dog door with the cone on my head. Yes, I tore the door. Mommy ordered a new one. And yes, you can 'add it to the bill' for my surgery.