Music City

Dude.  You gotta be kidding me.  You honestly thought I would be accommodating to the guys doing construction in the neighborhood.  It’s my domain and that’s all there is to it.  So what if I bark at landscapers, trucks, pavers, and street cleaners.  That’s MY JOB, MOMMY.  I am PROTECTING YOU.  When you shake your head when the workers are chuckling at me, all it does is make me want to bark more and run around. 

In other news, Mommy thought, “What fun it will be to take Ben to Nashville!” on a six hour car ride.  Sure, fabulous thought.  Yes, I do like to help drive the car with Daddy, that’s why I like to sit on the front console.  Stop asking me.  You really thought sharing your Bojangles meal with me in the middle of Tennessee was going to quell me?  Make me sleep?  Hell no.

Oh, and the fancy boutique hotel?  You can save your money Mommy.  The silly concierge who greeted me with a baby voice? Just stop.  Oh, and concierge girl, you are going to walk me….sure, just try and I will tell you who is boss.   You and Daddy have fun partying and eating throughout Nashville, while I am left to protect the hotel and deal with the concierge who thinks I am a six month old baby girl.  And the treats from the hotel…..well you know my tummy so whey the heck did you let me eat them?

One would think after almost 10 years (yes, I will be 10 on August 1-that is the date I ‘supposedly’ was born, but who the hell knows?), Mommy would have caught on.  It’s like she thinks I am a different dog.  She’s well meaning though, so I guess I can deal.

Peace.

 

Mommy?

Where the hell is Mommy?  It’s been days.  She left me here, and by here, I mean with Daddy and my kennel prison in the laundry room.  No working from home for her.  It must have been pretty important because she left here with like 400 pieces of luggage.  Try as I might, I could not get into the luggage, although I sat all around it while she packed.  She had all kinds of mess going on in here while she was packing, laying things out, telling Daddy she needed more outfits.  Drama show.

So here I remain.  For the first few nights while Mommy was gone, I slept on her pillow in protest.  Like hell, Daddy, will I just cuddle up to you.  I make the decisions about where I sleep.

Since it is unclear when she is returning, I am considering moving to a new house.  Mommy has a new friend a few houses down named Maureen.  She is the mommy to Jorga and Trinket and she works from home, like my mommy.  She’s been coming to get me during the day and I have been spending the day with the girls.  I am quite popular there.  I have 2 girlfriends and we cuddle on their beds.  Maureen also has a fenced in backyard.  It’s basically dog paradise.  If Mommy does not get home soon, I will be packing my monogrammed coat, my bed with my name on it, and my favorite toys and hitting the road.  Fortunately, it is not a far walk for my little legs.  I am a social dog and this lonely hearts club at my house is not cutting it.

There is also this really strange thing happening.  Daddy and Mommy talk into their phones at night, and they act like they can see each other.  Then Daddy holds the phone up so Mommy can look at me too and talk to me.  They act like this is the coolest thing ever and I gotta tell you, I just don’t get it?  I hear Mommy’s voice but I can’t see her for anything and frankly, she isn’t in the house so what difference does it make? They are so odd. I just lay on the couch confused.

Wait, there is the garage door.  OMG.  Mommy is home!!!!!! At last.  The walks are back.  The snuggles are back.  The lengthy but meaningless but one sided conversation will return (no, I don’t care what you make Daddy for dinner).  The hour long work out video she does while I watch from the couch will commence.  All her ridiculousness will be back.  As much as she makes me crazy, let’s be honest.  I am her favorite.  More than Daddy.  But not sure he knows it.

Frozen

WTF.

I am a delicate little man.  I need the sun. I love the beach.  I swim.  I tan.  I bask.

I have NEVER worn my monogrammed coat this much ever.  I am walking around the house trying to find a sunny spot.  I have cuddled in the blanket.  If it would not be detrimental to my health, I would sit in the drier.  While it is on.

Mommy and Daddy have been rolling the dice on who is going to walk me.  No one wants to walk me.   But when we all go to sleep, you better believe they argue over who is going to get to cuddle with my warm furry self.  I am like a little heater.  Not that Mommy can tell-she is wearing 2-3 layers a night.  She looks like an Eskimo.  It’s all she can do not to wear gloves in the house.  She looks ridiculous.  Daddy laughs at her.

I am going to go hide under the Crate and Barrel throw blanket until Spring.  BTW I am not supposed to sit on that blanket because it’s expensive.  But all bets are off under 20 degrees.